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Not that I am aware of! [A cheerful series of chirps in Maximal that may as well be laughter. Just barely audible is the faint metallic chime of her tail feathers tapping against something as she moves]

I do think it has something to do with the network update I was pinged for not long ago. You'll enjoy it, though, I am quite sure! Harmless enough, but I look forward to watching how you fare.

[he says a few things back: suspicious, what are you up to, all filled with nostalgia. but-- before he can get too far, primal has to stop for a moment. he's half-read the ping now he sees it on his comm, and the foxes are getting closer.]

I will see you later.

[far be it from him to have fallen asleep in a room where he could just simply close the door!

it's an hour or so later when he finds airazor, stomping into the room she's sitting up in the rafters in in his robot mode and completely covered in the horrible gunk from the knees up. leaving big ol' footprints in his wake. she's well hidden, but he locates her almost immediately, green optics focusing up.]

These vehicons need lessons in effectively utilizing their environment to avoid hazards... [he grumbles, easily scaling the furniture in the room to jump up into some of the rafters opposite despite opting not to transform. he has enough gunk on his gears, thank you. he sits with his legs hanging over the beam, letting the ooze drip off onto the floor below and not too dissimilar to the casual postures he'd adopt with her in the trees on their homeworld. old habits die hard, it seems, just as he had near immediately fallen back into confiding in her when they'd initially rejoined back in their own timeline. like he was then, he seems willing to bury any of his own feelings down deep to try and pull her back in close, falling into their old dynamic despite the horrific events that split them up.] I imagine you can guess exactly how I fared.

[Airazir is not at all surprised that Primal found her so easily, and in fact her only other reactions initially are yet more whistles of their language that rise and fall as she bobs her head ('I have no idea why you were so suspicious, I am innocent of all charges')]

It sounded truly delightful. Did you have the chance to experience delight, as I did?

[The question is mild, and to an outside observer she probably comes across as stern or unaffected by the mayhem, but in truth it was painfully obvious to Optimus Primal that she was almost giddy. The way she'd used to be back on their homeworld in their youth. Regardless of how close recent events are to the surface for her, at least for now it can be pushed aside]

[he rolls his optics, shaking his head. it's a strange situation, but he's genuinely happy to see his dear friend enjoying it so.]

Hmm. You don't appear to be chewed on in any capacity, nor have you clear experience with this discharge... we may have had slightly differing experiences.

[putting a hand to his chin as if deep in thought and reflection over this, primal narrows his optics at her.]

Perhaps I ought to stay up here, until the nonsense has concluded.

[a laugh bubbles up, and she tips her head towards the vents only slightly further down the hall]

That depends entirely on if you plan on staying downwind of the air conditioner. You stink. Badly. And I still remember how to beat you at our old games of pushing each other off of branches.

[she does remember how to beat him at those games, but it's also the first nudge of many, potentially. they had never spoken of their honeworld again after its destruction, and after speaking with Ratchet about there being no memorial to those fallen to Unicron, she thinks maybe there should be. and what better memorial is there than living well and not allowing your dead to be buried even further by silence?]

Hrm. [he shifts a little on the girder, stabilizing himself.] I think I'm quite happy where I am.

[which is... not downwind. not at all. the only favour he's doing her here is letting his legs, which have all the gunk on them, dangle below their sitting level. he leans back against the wall, ducking forward just slightly to avoid the curve of the ceiling.]

I have no doubt. But you would risk potential... splatter?

[a snort that would seem very uncharacteristic if you hadn't been there to see and hear her make many similar noises in response to mischief in the past]

You get a drop of that on me, and I'll have to bring out the heavy artillery. [said with a cheerful little chirp] I should still have my favorite clips of us saved in the long term sections of my databanks, I can recite to you Primal's Best Hits of when our dares made something unexpected happen.

You say unexpected like it was every anything other than me hitting the forest floor in the only ravine full of mud for miles around, every time.

[he'd be lying if he said at no point during their time on earth did he ever grab a dead branch or misjudged a jump when he was learning the gravity and ended up face down in the mud for a couple of minutes, thinking of her and the friends they'd lost.

that'd kind of kill the vibe, though.]

Don't think I don't remember you falling into the sacred lake. Even if I wasn't quick enough on my recording software at the time...

[an undignified squawk that's three quarters of a laugh by the end] It was unexpected at the time! We were invincible, obviously, and every time we were anything but was simply a fluke.

[the shortest pause as she also thinks of those times she lost consciousness due to energon starvation and ended up crashing into various things, before givibg her head a shake. she vastly preferred landing in the sacred lake, because at least then primal had been with her. instead of being alone. still, and again.]

If there is no evidence, how can I believe it happened at all? This sounds like slander to me.

Edited 2023-09-20 21:07 (UTC)

You speak the truth. How can I do anything but imply slander when I am free of the burden of proof?

[he hangs his head, over-dramatic; defeated. in truth, when he did a quick scouring of his deepest memory banks, he found a couple images of airazor soaked from her dunk in the lake, but she looks a bit too similar to how she did when the rust started spreading. primal puts them under a locked code for now.]

...Hopefully we make a planetside visit soon. I'm starting to feel a little too cooped up in here.

[another laugh, but it fades despite her every attempt at keeping it going. she's been having a fine time while her team and planet were dead, hasn't she?]

Mmm. We were not built to while away millennia so far away from the open sky. I do not know how anyone here can stand it. Force of habit, one supposes. [a rapid shake of her head to dispel such thoughts like clinging rainwater]

...I do believe I am starting to miss my usual spots on Earth. I had a very nice area set up on a human skyscraper where I could feel the wind against my feathers even without taking to the skies.

[he grunts slightly in agreement. they both know how it is to have no choice but to become used to discomfort. likely every crew member on board does; it's an unfortunate reality of the kind of lives they lead.]

I liked my cumaru tree near the river... [primal mutters slightly, almost a little embarrassed about admitting to have something as petty as a favourite tree.] I watched it grow over the centuries. As you did with the skyscrapers, I imagine.

[funny to think how the more things change, the more they stay the same.]

[she shifts towards him slightly, wishing once again to offer him comfort, because of course she recognizes that tone]

There is nothing so natural as to miss your home. Earth became our new home, filled with new lives that we grew attached to due to watching them grow and thrive. And if that life was a tree, or a building...? So long as it brings comfort and joy, there is no difference.

[another brief hesitation while she thinks, before deciding to just say what has been on her mind]

Primal... Optimus. I have been giving our situation thought, since arriving. I do not think it will be easy for either of us to hear or say such a thing, but it must be said: we cannot go on as we are. We have lost too many friends and family to watch each other slowly die again. I will not allow it.

[a snuff escapes him, though it isn't a dismissive one. more part of the language for his specific brand of beastmode; a sign of listening and thought. a non-verbal confirmation of deeper conversation, the way those with avaian alt modes would indicate the same with light chirping.]

You are right.

[she usually is, and primal appreciates airazor's stalwart intelligence. he doesn't lack any himself, but she's always been able to see things from a unique perspective, both literally and figuratively.]

I am... sorry, for not putting forth enough effort where it was necessary.

[a soft, almost soundless vent. pained and tired and full of every ounce of the concern she's been attempting to hide during every conversation they have had, because she didn't wish to burden him]

That is not what this is. [firm, but not angry, never angry. not with him] It is not a judgment that finds either of us wanting. It is an observation that affects us both. I do not wish for both of us to still be pretending that we are whole when all evidence points to the contrary. Neither do I expect one or a hundred conversations to fix us, because...

[a soft strained laugh]

Because that is the exact sort of nonsense we would not tolerate from our human family at themselves, isn't it? That they are broken forever, and that broken means worthless rather than someone whose gaping wounds need tending to.

[another huff-- maybe he was accidentally expressing a little of how he is feeling in the meantime. that he should be doing more, that he should just push away every iota of how he feels to move on and just be happy that he has more time with her. it's a slightly immature thought process to what he usually employs, but this situation is not the norm. to say it's thrown them both for a loop is... an understatement. he doesn't really know what to do, and that in itself is a new feeling.]

Hmm. Amaru would have me tilling a new field for crops to clear my mind. [with the implication there being that he's been told to do it before, and did so without argument.] What are your thoughts on this, Airazor? I have been at a loss of what to do. We have to move forward together, as you say.

[her beak clicks soundlessly for a moment, and there is a rueful tone to her next laugh]

...Would it be very strange if I said that I wasn't prepared for that question? I had thought as far as pointing out the problem, but actually knowing what to do about it is, ah. Less clear to my sight.

[she's lying, but only slightly. she knows what to do, she just doesn't want to do any of them. it is so much easier to simply go on existing as they have, but...]

Have you gotten a chance to visit our ship lately? [she asks, instead of any of the dozens of others on her mind] Is it still there? I had thought of taking a... call it a pilgrimage to visit it, prior to... events. One of the last remnants of our home, save for each other.

I have been thinking of it a lot, too. [but wasn't planning to say anything as early as airazor. her being ahead of the curve is not unusual for her, though.] Especially for what to do or say if one of the Autobots was to appear.

[he doesn't mention rhinox and cheetor because primal doesn't think he'd actually need to really discuss much of this with them. they're capable of seeking airazor out themselves, and they work well enough as a team.

primal feels so strongly about what he's about to say that his finials actually droop; something that's only happened once or twice before in his entire lifespan.]

...It is no more. We had no choice but to strip it down; all that remains is a hollowed out shell overgrown and infested with Earth fauna.

Airazor made a noise despite her every attempt not to, small and warbling and vibrating in her chest behind the maximal crest. Mournful.

[Of course it was, she tells herself. It was the only reliable source of parts and energon their half of the maximals had available, and was likely the only reason Primal and Cheetor and Rhinox were still online at all. It made sense. It made sense. And yet it still crushes her spark like another maximal has met their end.]

I see. [She takes refuge in sounding stern, the way she always had] You did what you had to do. I understand. Better the ship than any of you.

[she isn't entirely wrong in her assessment. primal, uncharacteristically silent, thinks that even if he knew airazor and the others were still alive for a while, probably would have made the same choice to start dismantling it for parts. what is the point of their oath if no-one is alive to fulfil it?

he looks away from her, expecting the tone shift before it even happens.]

You would have found us once more on that pilgrimage. It would not have been for nothing.

[Airazor lets out a shuddering vent, then another. Half guilt, half the familiar taste of ashes that could be anything, any emotion at all. She shoved it away viciously, with an audible, if subvocal noise that probably sounded harsher than she meant it to]

I would have. And in truth the pilgrimage would never have happened because my half of the key was more important than my personal feelings. I kept pushing it off and pushing it off, but never giving up on it entirely, precisely because of all of you and the ship.

[Long, unbroken moments are weighted with several kinds of silence before she speaks again]

Primal, I never... [A swift, cut off chirp that indicates that the speaker was thinking even while speaking] I never offered you my sincerest regret for the loss of my team, my half of the survivors of our race. They are and were my responsibility. And they are all dead.

Cheetor, Rhinox and I discussed searching for you and your team, but could not leave our post for similar reasons.

[his finials shoot back up and he grunts, surprised, but not surprised at all at the same time. this is a conversation he would have expected to have with her eventually, as he understands the point of it.

primal decides to be bold with it.] It was my responsibility to protect you as well, Airazor. We gain nothing from...

[he huffs out his own version of the noise she'd made.]

Would you like to perform rites while we are here? It is something I had hoped to discuss with you, before.

I- [A clack of her beak as Airazor thinks back over the conversations she's had with Ratchet about how none of the victims of Unicron in this reality had any sort of memorial aboard the R2 due to death having attained such a strange, almost cheap status]

Yes. That would come as a very merge relief. I did what I could for them under the circumstances, but... [Another pause, as she thought back to less savory things she'd had to do after the death of a friend in order to conserve energon. She'd reluctantly promised the last of them that she wouldn't let their death be a complete waste, and she held to her oaths] But it didn't feel like it was enough. Not for me, and not for them.

I understand the feeling.

[when things get as dire as their general situation, nothing feels like enough. the only thing that would be enough is having their planet and dead friends back, and that's not going to happen.]

But we can only do what we can. Even if it doesn't feel like enough. It will be better than nothing. [primal dips his head lightly.] They would understand.

[Airazor almost snaps back for reasons she would find difficult to articulate later, except that she doesn't want understanding and sympathy right now. Doesn't feel she deserves it. She'd failed him, failed all of them, and she hadn't even been able to take care of them according to their own rites in the end]

[Instead, she sighs]

They probably would, or most them would, anyway. They always were too quick to sacrifice for our oath. A few years' difference until they could rest easy wouldn't be beyond most of them.

[he feels the tension rise between them, even if she doesn't speak her mind. primal knows her well enough to know how things ebb and flow, almost like reading her field without being near it. he doesn't respond to anything he senses, nor does he react.]

...When Unicron almost made it through the Transwarp portal to Earth, Optimus Prime decided to stay behind to destroy the key and ensure he'd instead be sealed far away. We had no choice but to honour his sacrifice and retreat. Noah joined him, however, and this helped me realise I, too, was able to assist in keeping him away from the implosion. A minute later, and he would've been pulled into Unicron's maw itself.

[he tilts his head, looking back at her.]

There was another way that didn't end in us losing the Prime, but it was impossible to see until it was almost too late. I do not think they would regret giving their lives in service of the oath, even if the difference was just a few years.

They probably would not. You are right.

[Airazor admits this reluctantly, shuffles back and forth where she is perched, and averts her gaze. Her earlier shift in mood is as brief as it was sharp, and she has no idea how to feel now when the final battle against Unicron is described to her, except...]

[She should have been there. That she wasn't, is her largest and more stinging failure, outside of getting her half of the survivors of their planet killed. If she had been there, maybe things could have been different. Better]

...And you? Were you harmed in the battle? Or Cheetor or Rhinox? Were they safe, the last you saw them? [A beat of silence before she lets out a rueful laugh] And the rest of the autobots of course, but...

[he knows this isn't that simple. hurt like this cannot be solved with something as easy as words.]

No. It was a difficult battle, but we only lost one Autobot. Mirage bravely sacrificed himself to protect Noah from Scourge. [he dips his head as he says it, because mirage deserves to be remembered for his sacrifice just as much as optimus would have been.] They were safe. As were Elena and Noah.

[Airazor almost flinches at how her brief moment of selfishness was rewarded, even if there is also a burst of relief that everyone else survived]

Oh, Mirage... [She murmurs it, regretful and already grieving a life that should never have been extinguished] I will sing for him when I next see a nebula on the observation deck, with hope that his spark will know peace.

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