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I have been thinking of it a lot, too. [but wasn't planning to say anything as early as airazor. her being ahead of the curve is not unusual for her, though.] Especially for what to do or say if one of the Autobots was to appear.

[he doesn't mention rhinox and cheetor because primal doesn't think he'd actually need to really discuss much of this with them. they're capable of seeking airazor out themselves, and they work well enough as a team.

primal feels so strongly about what he's about to say that his finials actually droop; something that's only happened once or twice before in his entire lifespan.]

...It is no more. We had no choice but to strip it down; all that remains is a hollowed out shell overgrown and infested with Earth fauna.

Airazor made a noise despite her every attempt not to, small and warbling and vibrating in her chest behind the maximal crest. Mournful.

[Of course it was, she tells herself. It was the only reliable source of parts and energon their half of the maximals had available, and was likely the only reason Primal and Cheetor and Rhinox were still online at all. It made sense. It made sense. And yet it still crushes her spark like another maximal has met their end.]

I see. [She takes refuge in sounding stern, the way she always had] You did what you had to do. I understand. Better the ship than any of you.

[she isn't entirely wrong in her assessment. primal, uncharacteristically silent, thinks that even if he knew airazor and the others were still alive for a while, probably would have made the same choice to start dismantling it for parts. what is the point of their oath if no-one is alive to fulfil it?

he looks away from her, expecting the tone shift before it even happens.]

You would have found us once more on that pilgrimage. It would not have been for nothing.

[Airazor lets out a shuddering vent, then another. Half guilt, half the familiar taste of ashes that could be anything, any emotion at all. She shoved it away viciously, with an audible, if subvocal noise that probably sounded harsher than she meant it to]

I would have. And in truth the pilgrimage would never have happened because my half of the key was more important than my personal feelings. I kept pushing it off and pushing it off, but never giving up on it entirely, precisely because of all of you and the ship.

[Long, unbroken moments are weighted with several kinds of silence before she speaks again]

Primal, I never... [A swift, cut off chirp that indicates that the speaker was thinking even while speaking] I never offered you my sincerest regret for the loss of my team, my half of the survivors of our race. They are and were my responsibility. And they are all dead.

Cheetor, Rhinox and I discussed searching for you and your team, but could not leave our post for similar reasons.

[his finials shoot back up and he grunts, surprised, but not surprised at all at the same time. this is a conversation he would have expected to have with her eventually, as he understands the point of it.

primal decides to be bold with it.] It was my responsibility to protect you as well, Airazor. We gain nothing from...

[he huffs out his own version of the noise she'd made.]

Would you like to perform rites while we are here? It is something I had hoped to discuss with you, before.

I- [A clack of her beak as Airazor thinks back over the conversations she's had with Ratchet about how none of the victims of Unicron in this reality had any sort of memorial aboard the R2 due to death having attained such a strange, almost cheap status]

Yes. That would come as a very merge relief. I did what I could for them under the circumstances, but... [Another pause, as she thought back to less savory things she'd had to do after the death of a friend in order to conserve energon. She'd reluctantly promised the last of them that she wouldn't let their death be a complete waste, and she held to her oaths] But it didn't feel like it was enough. Not for me, and not for them.

I understand the feeling.

[when things get as dire as their general situation, nothing feels like enough. the only thing that would be enough is having their planet and dead friends back, and that's not going to happen.]

But we can only do what we can. Even if it doesn't feel like enough. It will be better than nothing. [primal dips his head lightly.] They would understand.

[Airazor almost snaps back for reasons she would find difficult to articulate later, except that she doesn't want understanding and sympathy right now. Doesn't feel she deserves it. She'd failed him, failed all of them, and she hadn't even been able to take care of them according to their own rites in the end]

[Instead, she sighs]

They probably would, or most them would, anyway. They always were too quick to sacrifice for our oath. A few years' difference until they could rest easy wouldn't be beyond most of them.

[he feels the tension rise between them, even if she doesn't speak her mind. primal knows her well enough to know how things ebb and flow, almost like reading her field without being near it. he doesn't respond to anything he senses, nor does he react.]

...When Unicron almost made it through the Transwarp portal to Earth, Optimus Prime decided to stay behind to destroy the key and ensure he'd instead be sealed far away. We had no choice but to honour his sacrifice and retreat. Noah joined him, however, and this helped me realise I, too, was able to assist in keeping him away from the implosion. A minute later, and he would've been pulled into Unicron's maw itself.

[he tilts his head, looking back at her.]

There was another way that didn't end in us losing the Prime, but it was impossible to see until it was almost too late. I do not think they would regret giving their lives in service of the oath, even if the difference was just a few years.

They probably would not. You are right.

[Airazor admits this reluctantly, shuffles back and forth where she is perched, and averts her gaze. Her earlier shift in mood is as brief as it was sharp, and she has no idea how to feel now when the final battle against Unicron is described to her, except...]

[She should have been there. That she wasn't, is her largest and more stinging failure, outside of getting her half of the survivors of their planet killed. If she had been there, maybe things could have been different. Better]

...And you? Were you harmed in the battle? Or Cheetor or Rhinox? Were they safe, the last you saw them? [A beat of silence before she lets out a rueful laugh] And the rest of the autobots of course, but...

[he knows this isn't that simple. hurt like this cannot be solved with something as easy as words.]

No. It was a difficult battle, but we only lost one Autobot. Mirage bravely sacrificed himself to protect Noah from Scourge. [he dips his head as he says it, because mirage deserves to be remembered for his sacrifice just as much as optimus would have been.] They were safe. As were Elena and Noah.

[Airazor almost flinches at how her brief moment of selfishness was rewarded, even if there is also a burst of relief that everyone else survived]

Oh, Mirage... [She murmurs it, regretful and already grieving a life that should never have been extinguished] I will sing for him when I next see a nebula on the observation deck, with hope that his spark will know peace.

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